another moral hangover. fuck.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
