her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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