Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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