Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
