butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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