I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
