she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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