have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
