Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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