I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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