plz talk dirty to me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
