I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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