I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
