I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize