yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
