I'm gonna have a badass scar
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize