I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
