I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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