I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
