you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
