Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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