He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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