I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
