No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
