butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
