3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He did a backflip because drugs
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
