He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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