i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
