My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
