My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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