I'm passing your future prison.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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