i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize