Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
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I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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