were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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