Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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