sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Don't make out with my wife yet
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
