drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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