the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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