so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
