I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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