Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
