my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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