God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize