I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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