I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
