what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
