This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
