I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
