probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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