i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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