So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
