tell your sister to shave her snatch
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I party with great urgency now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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