i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
