Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize