I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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