i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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